I Did Not Wake Up Like This

Raise your hand if your life is crazy?  Raise your hand if your life is busy?  If your life is run by a To Do List that is never, ever, ending?  Same girl, same!  Unfortunately, I’ve not always practiced self-care, fueled my body with the real, nutrient-dense foods it needs, or prioritized daily exercise and meditation.  

A.K.A. I did NOT wake up like this!

In August 2016 I pulled away from my apartment in Delaware with everything I owned packed into my Altima and a 15-foot UHAUL ready to make the eight hour drive to South Carolina.  Not only was I moving, but I was starting a brand new job, (the kind where you’re in charge) and purchasing my very first home in a town I knew nearly nothing about.  

Feeling very blessed in this photo, never did think I'd be a homeowner at 25!

I felt like a clown with one too many bowling pins in the air.  Juggling one of these life changes is a tall order, but all three at once. . .  Oh, and I was also halfway through my master’s degree with a grueling two and a half semesters ahead of me.  

I’m not entirely sure what I was thinking.  

Of course the dust from purchasing my house settled, however, the stressors that accompanied starting a brand new job, where I was directly responsible for the careers of the 20 people who worked for me (a responsibility I didn't and still don't take lightly), making the move to a town where I knew not a sole, and hours and hours of schoolwork each week made for a challenging start to my life in South Carolina.  

I hardly had the time to knock out all the tasks associated with my job and my assignments for school, let alone find time to prepare healthy meals or fit in a workout.  

This approach to life, sitting at my work computer for nine hours a day and coming home to stare at my laptop for another two to three hours and then heading to bed only to wake up and do it all again took a significant toll in a rather short amount of time.

Smiling yes, but truly exhausted!

I felt trapped, like each day I was running the same stressful and exhausting marathon  There was no light at the end of the tunnel for me and I had no idea how to change the cycle that had grown to be my life. 

Finally, after a particularly stressful time at work I had a pretty decent sized meltdown.  I’d been grinding on and on this way for seven months and realized I was not only stressed out, I was also burnt out too.  I felt like I had nothing left to give and absolutely no desire to dig any deeper inside myself to find more.  I’d been giving so much to others and taken so little time for myself that there was not an ounce of service left inside of me.

I called my mom in tears and from 600 miles away the gentleness in her voice did not mask the deep concern I knew she felt when she said, “Lonnie, are you taking care of yourself?”

The short answer was “no,” but the long answer was “no, because I was pouring all I had into everyone and everything else in my life, my work, my staff, my degree. . .

As we chatted I started to feel somewhat better and my mom closed by saying,

“Always remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.” 

This was the exact moment in my life when it clicked for me.  I can’t expect myself to go, go, go all the time, and not recharge my batteries.  All output with not input had over that seven months severely impacted the quality of my work in the office and also on my master's.  

I so badly wanted to take care of my staff and give my very best every time I set foot in the building, but I just wasn’t able to do that with as much clarity and gumption because I wasn’t taking the much needed time for myself.

And because I naturally don’t have this mindset or approach to life I’ve had to make several changes.  I’ve changed by habits, mindset, daily schedule and countless other aspects of my life to make progress on my journey to being the best version of myself.  

My guess is it doesn’t come naturally to you to take time for yourself or practice self-love and self-care.  In today’s busy world I have to remind myself each day to step back, take a break and give both my mind and body what it needs. 

So please don’t be discouraged if you did not wake up like this! 

None of us really do, but please do be patient with yourself and take small steps each day to move towards being a better, healthier, more balanced and intentional person. 

It takes a long time to change your mindset on this when for a lifetime you’ve been getting up early to make lunches for the kiddos instead of going for a run or you’ve been staying late at work to get that extra info to your boss instead of heading home to prepare a healthful meal.  Take pride in all the work you’ve done to come this far.  

You’ll be hearing me say often that self-care isn’t selfish and that you can’t pour from an empty cup and it just might help you make the change you deserve by adopting these sayings as well.

Love, Light & the Highest Vibes,

Lon